By Tanessa Dillard Noll
Look for Tanessa’s article every month as she shares her experiences raising her 11-month-old son, Guy, on the tools and insights offered in our magazine.
In last month’s column I committed to trying EFT to release my pent up sadness, anger, and fear. I wanted to let go of these emotions, so they would not impact my son today or later in life. The exercise promised to offer me great benefits as well. How much better of a parent—and person—would I be if I could release negative emotions and make room for positive, healing ones?
Nearly all of the negative issues I identified had to do with how I thought people perceived or treated me—people not liking me, judging me, not being available, not listening, supporting, understanding, etc. I felt rejection, for example, when I reached out to friends with a phone call, email, or invitation, but received no response. So during my tapping sessions I’d say, “Even though _____ doesn’t return my calls, I am a good person.” Stating the phrase reminded me of how I set an intention when I practice yoga. I varied the beginning of the phrase and, for the ending, continued to focus on the reality that I am a good person.
Along the way, I became more aware that I actually continue to contact the people who aren’t “available.” Soon I started to think differently. I realized I could focus on the people in my life who were reaching out to me. I quickly let go of my sadness and embraced the joy in these relationships. As the month went on, each of the issues I had identified as problems came to the surface. No matter what the issue, it seemed there was some simple solution to release my negative experiences and make room for revealing positive ones.
After my EFT sessions, I felt immediate relief from judgment and rejection. Rather than remain stuck in sadness, anger, and fear, I was able to see opportunities to create new outcomes in my life. Day by day, the issues mattered less, and I felt like an awesome person. I celebrated every success from happily giving my son Guy a bath to meeting another mom for a walk. I believe EFT helped me release the negative emotions that were preventing me from feeling empowered.
Everyday my little one is growing in some new way. He speaks a new word, responds to a request, or creates some new game to entertain himself—like finding a cardboard box to climb in and out of. (I meant to recycle it weeks ago, but now it has become as special to him as any toy!)
I have noticed that Guy is most curious about the things that interest his father and me. He wants to “play” with Mommy’s books, papers, and pens. He wants to strum Daddy’s guitar or press buttons on the TV at the most exciting moments of a program. We are learning daily to welcome him into our world, while setting healthy boundaries. For instance, I trade my book that he wants to tear the pages out of for a newspaper he can gladly destroy. If he starts banging on Daddy’s guitar with the phone, Daddy might take the instrument and entertain him with a song or take the phone away. There is plenty of give and take these days, along with more open lines of communication and loads of laughter.
In the latest issue of NSFM, “Keeping on Track,” the article about trauma and its impact on the brain touched me on many levels. The greatest lesson for me was that we can never predict what might traumatize a child. I know these first six years are crucial for Guy’s development. I plan to nurture him and protect him in everyway I can, while at the same time empowering him to discover who he is while he explores the world. Sooner or later, he’s sure to experience something that hurts or upsets him. My job will be to help him release these negative emotions. Good thing I’m practicing on myself now!
About the Author:
Tanessa Dillard Noll is a stay-athome mom who lives in Belfair, WA. Before motherhood, she worked with kids of all ages as a tutor, mentor, chat room monitor and teacher. She has degrees in communications and teaching.
November 2007