By Tanessa Dillard Noll

Look for Tanessa’s article every month as she shares her experiences raising her 14-month-old son, Guy, on the tools and insights offered in our magazine.

After a particularly trying night of saying “no” more times than I care to remember to our son, Guy, my husband summed up the situation in two words: “He’s bored.” It didn’t surprise me that our toddler had lost interest in the vast collection of toys throughout our home. We already knew that our Guy prefers to interact and explore.

Last month’s article on, “Baby Boundaries,” came right in time. We have been remodeling our home for a couple of years now, and rather than having an entire child-proof house to play in, Guy has had designated spaces. His favorite activity is to escape the boundaries. I must admit, the confined spaces are limiting for the amount of energy Guy has, and it has been a daily challenge to provide him enough room to be as adventurous and playful as he wishes.

My husband decided to set our plans to create a large playroom in motion. We had no idea how soon Guy would be ready for such a room. And, since Guy’s sole playmate recently moved to another state, I also decided to look into forming or getting involved with some play groups in our community.

In a matter of weeks, the room was complete. Guy now has a place where he can run, fall, play or spin in circles if he pleases, with no worry of bumping into a sharp corner or hard surface. My husband and I no longer have to create physical boundaries because, instead, we created a more empowering space for Guy. We all love the new room.

Even though I was aware of activities in our community for parents and children, I had been in no hurry to get involved. I seemed busy enough with all the activities at home and found a host of other excuses for not checking them out. On my first outing with Guy, we both made new friends. He was even invited to a birthday party. I had no idea how valuable this time with others would be for both of us. I have noticed that he sleeps better and is more relaxed at home. It feels affirming to know that there are other parents nearby who share my experiences and frustrations. I am grateful to have opportunities to meet with them regularly and get a break from the routine tasks of everyday life at home.

I knew that I wanted to stay at home for the first year of my son’s life. That year went by all too quickly and left me thinking about work again. I love the bond that I created with Guy, but I also miss being involved in the community. I was fortunate enough to find a teaching position working with preschool aged children. My husband, mother-in-law, and I will now share childcare responsibilities.

One of my initial reservations about teaching was trading time with my son to nurture other people’s children. Usually, I am heartbroken simply sending Guy off for a day with his grandparents. My husband assured me that Guy would be well taken care of and that I had something special to offer other children. Last month’s article, “A Surprise Package,” reminded me of how important it is to love, nurture, and support other children, as well as our own. And I know that Guy will grow as a person by interacting with others.

The article on Education Matters encouraged me to get back into the classroom, not only as a parent, but also as an educator. It stated four powerful choices for students whose needs are not being met, and makes it clear that students need to articulate their needs to their teachers. I wish more students had done this when I was teaching middle school. While I sought feedback from students periodically, there were probably times when students let their needs go unexpressed—and unmet. I would have welcomed a student or parent who came to me with ideas that might generate more passionate learning.

This has been a transformational month in our house. We expanded the house to make it more suitable for our growing family. I went back to work, and yet my life as a mom goes on. I look forward to applying the tools I’ve learned from this magazine in my home, as well as my new job, empowering my son and all the other kids I’ll meet.

February 2008