By Tanessa Dillard Noll

Look for Tanessa’s article every month as she shares her experiences raising her 15-month-old son, Guy, on the tools and insights offered in our magazine.

Change seemed to be the theme of the February issue of NSFM and it came at a good time, since I’ve been going through a lot of change in my life. A few months ago, with my son nearly a year old, I did not think I’d be ready to leave him and go back to teaching. Even though I had considered it, I felt too overwhelmed by my duties as a stay-at-home parent. How could Guy manage without me! But when I decided to look into it, the pieces easily fell into place and I accepted a job teaching in a highly nurturing environment. Nevertheless, I found myself fearful of the change and the consequences it might bring. Now, a month into working four days a week, friends, family and coworkers ask how my son, Guy, has handled the change. “He’s perfectly happy,” I tell them. “I’m the one who is having trouble adjusting.”

My own mom stayed home with me until I went to kindergarten, but my younger sisters went to daycare. My mom felt guilty for not being there for them the way she had been for my older sister and me. My reservations about working seemed to mirror those of my mom, but in a few short days on the job, I came to understand how this change was actually empowering my family. Guy has already learned to trust other adults, expanding his comfort zone and sense of independence. Now he spends several days a week outside of our home and actually enjoys getting dressed, stepping out into the fresh morning air and buckling into his car seat. Even though it’s still a little sad for me to let him go, his cheerful waves assure me that he is at peace with our new way of life.

In spite of the fact that I only work part-time, it has been a major change for the family. Before, we lived a fairly spontaneous life with flexible routines. Now, we have a weekly schedule but, surprisingly, in many ways, it seems to suit us better. When we come together at the end of the day, there is a greater appreciation for each other, which makes the time together more meaningful than ever. We make more conscious choices about how we choose to spend our time and eliminate activities that do not serve us. My husband and I both agree that we are more productive—and much happier. So the fear I had about the changes that would come in our lives has lessened and I’ve settled into a realization that even though change is not always easy, it brings with it the opportunity for each of us to grow in positive ways.

Besides the theme of change, the February issue also got me thinking about education, the classroom, and the kids I work with. When I first entered teaching, more experienced teachers advised me to be strict, maybe even a little mean. I often managed to hide my kind nature and took their advice, but always wondered why students seemed to think that nice teachers were bad teachers. It seemed sad that they respected teachers who yelled and demanded things to be done a certain way. Sure, students in those classes were quiet and followed rules, but I wasn’t convinced that they were learning much or enjoying their time at school. Children enjoy so many hands-on learning experiences at the start of their education, why is it that by the time they reach middle school, they expect to be controlled?

Now I realize that, most of the time, children are not truly engaged in learning, and the only way they will do what is expected of them is if a teacher demands it--and then what’s the value of what they’re learning? In my new teaching position, I watch little ones self-direct their learning every day, as they engage in creative play with blocks, props, or nothing but their imaginations. As the “Empowering Education” article suggested, children are born being their own best teachers.

“The Gift Within” showed a perfect example of how children “fail” when they are not nurtured and empowered to tap into the wonder of who they are inside. I remind myself daily that every child is a gift. I try to appreciate every student I have—and their families as well.

I know how much I appreciate my son and as I read the “I Am Affirmation” article this month, I thought of the ways we can adapt the affirmations to his limited vocabulary so that he knows that he can succeed at anything he tries. Whether he wants to put a sock on, catch a ball or drink from a cup, we give him words of success. “I did it!” we might say. And if you listen carefully, you might hear him repeat that phrase—or something that sounds sort of like it. I look forward to hearing those words of confidence and success become clearer and clearer as they echo through the coming years.

March 2008