One of the most publicized books this month is A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. It asks each of us to awaken to our own consciousness and it speaks of the power of consciousness to transform the world. As each generation leaps ahead of the ideas, beliefs, and limitations of the past, we evolve as a species creating a new level of awareness. It’s our children who will lead us to a world of peace and compassion and it starts with helping them discover the truth of who they are. A New Earth asks us to stop living in our heads, with blame, fault, guilt, anger, sadness, prejudice and disharmony, and instead, asks us to tap into our consciousness, the truth that connects us all. Along the way, we discover our inner purpose and our inner gifts, and by doing so, we give others permission to do the same.
A Read-Aloud For Parents & Kids
Last month we wrote about the idea that there are two parts of a HUMAN BEING; the HUMAN part and the BEING part. The HUMAN part is made up of your body, your thoughts, your experiences, and your feelings. It’s the part of you that identifies you as: “I am a boy. I am a girl. I am ten years old. I love dogs.” Those parts are all affected by what happens around you and changes on a daily basis. The BEING part of you is made up of your core, your center, who you truly are. It doesn’t change. Your BEING identifies you as: “I am love. I am full of potential. I have a purpose and gift to bring to the world.” It remains constant no matter what happens around you. Staying connected to your BEING makes life easier because you are focused on the only thing you truly have control over— you! Therefore, you can go to that inner place of happiness, peace, and love no matter what happens to you, how someone treats you, or what goes on around you.
It’s easy to see that the HUMAN part of everyone makes us unique, because we all have different ideas and thoughts. You react differently to something than your sister or brother might, for example. But the BEING part of us is all the same. It is the part of you that knows, “I am.” That’s it! We all can say, “I am” and in that “I am” we are all alike. We are all of value because we exist. When we are connected to our BEING, we feel balanced, free, and an important part of all that exists.
“I am” is the smallest sentence in the English language, yet it has the biggest message for you in creating a life of happiness and purpose. “I am” brings you to your BEING, the part that no one can take away from you. There are times when you might feel very connected to your BEING and other times when you don’t. Sometimes what happens around you affects the HUMAN part of you and you may feel like you are separated from your BEING, but that is only a feeling. The truth is that you have the power to connect to your BEING anytime, whenever you get your thoughts and feelings out of the way.
The answer to the question, “How do you feel today?” changes on any given day because you are answering from your HUMAN part, and your feelings usually change depending on what’s going on around you. It’s important to pay attention to how you feel, and to learn to notice the stories and excuses behind those feelings. There are as many stories as there are people! For instance, if I told you your grandma is coming to stay with you for a month, you might be happy about that. Another child might feel anxious because when her grandma comes, she has to share her bedroom with her. Maybe another child doesn’t get along with his grandma so it makes him feel sad. The same thing happens but it affects each person differently because each person’s thoughts and feelings come out of their story, which is based on their own past experiences.
It seems silly to imagine a duck thinking that way, but people do that all the time. And, so do you and I. We carry our anger, sadness, anxiety and pain from one situation to another, forgetting that we have another choice. We get so wrapped up in what we think and feel that we forget that we are wonderful because we exist. No matter what’s going on around you, you can remember, “I am.” That is who you want to identify with.
And, it starts with paying attention to the feeling inside you, whatever it happens to be. Then, take a deep breath, focus all your attention on your breathing. In that moment, you are in the present moment and aware of your aliveness, which is something most of us take for granted on a daily basis. One way to move through an emotional issue is to tune in to the BEING part of you and focus on the breathing that brings you life.
You are a BEING who experiences emotions and situations every day. When you say “I am angry,” what does that mean? Are you anger? How is it different than saying “I feel angry”? When you say “I feel angry., it’s still the HUMAN part of you that feels the anger, but it is not who you truly are. The BEING part of you is always coming from a place of trust and love, a place you can count on. You only have control over how you feel and think. You create those thoughts and feelings. And, you are much more than just thoughts and feelings. You are a HUMAN BEING.
Karen was angry. She had told her daughter, Sara, to come home right after school, but she was already a half hour late and not anywhere in sight. So Karen felt angry and disappointed, but it didn’t stop there! She created a story of thoughts about just why her daughter had done this. It started with “I’ll bet she lied to me. I am so tired of not being listened to...” and you can imagine where it went from there. Her mind started to make up a story based on her past experiences that supported her expectation of what was happening. She created a story that Sara was doing something to her and that story didn’t make her feel very good. Karen reacted and lost trust in her daughter, but it had nothing to do with her daughter! Ten minutes later Sara ran into the house and said, “Mom, I’m sorry I’m late. There was a big accident on the way home and there was a little girl crying so I talked to her until the police and ambulance came.” Suddenly all of Karen’s thoughts changed in a moment. Everything she’d been thinking and saying before had been nothing more than a story.
What stories do you tell about your life? When your busy mind creates stories to justify your feelings, you begin to think that you are your feelings, stories, and thoughts. But you don’t have to think that way. You have a choice. Focus on BEING instead. Take responsibility for your behavior, and let others be responsible for their own thoughts, feelings, and actions.
So, how can you take responsibility and connect to your BEING? There are so many things that happen in a day, how can you reach for BEING when the HUMAN part of you is reacting? The only thing you truly have control over is how you think, feel, and act. The first step is to stop resisting what happens in your life. Things are the way they are right now. Accept it. When you are able to do that you stop being affected by what happens around you and you can focus instead on connecting to your BEING.
The same goes for accepting your past instead of resisting it. The past is what it is. Let’s say that someone said something that hurt your feelings. You can make up stories that put more energy into what happened or you can simply accept it. Stop judging it. You may not want it to happen again and you may wish it had never happened. But it happened. You might say, “But I don’t deserve to be treated that way! What that person said was wrong!” Even if everyone in the world might agree with you, does it make you feel any better? You can be right, or you can be happy.1 Which do you choose? When we depend on others saying and doing the right thing in order to feel happy, it’s a temporary happiness, one that we have no control over maintaining. When you accept what is, you open the door to peace, happiness, and love.
Develop a practice of BEING each day. Start with deciding what you are going to pay attention to. It might be connecting with BEING by focusing on your breathing, or doing yoga, painting, running, hiking, or playing music. Whatever makes you focus your awareness on something other than your thoughts and feelings. It should take you to an awareness that you’re not just a HUMAN DOING, you’re a HUMAN BEING. In each moment there is a chance for you to feel your aliveness. On a sunny day you might close your eyes and focus all your attention to the song of the birds, returning back from their winter journey. Or, if you’re indoors, lie on the floor and breathe deeply. Now focus all your attention and all your thoughts to your toes. Then move your attention to other parts of your body. Focus only on what you are doing. Or, pick a flower and just look at it. Look deep within and pay attention to the details of that flower without using labels. And if your mom or dad is angry about something, try looking at them with all your attention. Focus on who they are and feel what it feels like to accept the moment instead of reacting. See beyond their words to their love for you. All of these are small steps to move from living as a HUMAN DOING to living as a HUMAN BEING.
When you see someone acting as a HUMAN DOING, it is a reminder that you can respond as a HUMAN BEING. Stop resisting what life brings your way. Connect with your inner awareness no matter what happens around you. Watch how life changes when you tap into all the energy and power that is. Let your thoughts and feelings guide you in a wonderful creative process, a process in which you find your true self. You are a wonderful and important part of the world.
Let us know how you’re connecting with your BEING. E-mail us at: Being@northstarfamilymatters.com
1Marshall Rosenberg, founder of Nonviolent Communication Tolle, E. (2005). A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose. New York: Plume. Tolle, E. (1999). The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. Vancouver: Namaste Publishing.
April 2008