By Sue Woodward & Wendy Garrido
An Engage Aloud For Parents & Kids
Every time you see the ∞ sign, be sure to give your child all the time s/he needs to think about the question and discover his/her own, unique answers.
The last of our six-part series, inspired from Eckart Tolle’s A New Earth, is about the importance of strengthening your BEING Muscle. NSFM magazine is founded on the belief that if we empower kids with life skills and tools, they will naturally stay connected to their BEING. Kids come into the world ready to connect, and the limit of what we believe is possible is where they begin.
As we discussed earlier in this series, a HUMAN BEING is made up of two parts. The HUMAN part of you is your mind and body. Based on your life experiences, your HUMAN part acts and reacts to the world, creating your reality or life, which is different than mine. Sometimes the HUMAN side of you believes something is true, even when it may not be!
The other part of you is your BEING and it exists throughout you, and identifies you as love, potential, brilliance, worthiness, and uniqueness. Your BEING remains constant no matter how anyone treats you or what happens around you. It is always there to guide you through life. Staying connected to your BEING makes life easier because you are focused on the only thing you truly have control over—YOU! Therefore, you can always go to your BEING, and find your PLACE of Peace, Love, Appreciation, Compassion, and Empathy.
Note: NSFM’s concept of BEING Muscle is what Tolle calls the “spiritual muscle.” This is one area where we see beyond the limitations of Tolle and Oprah, who seem to believe that consciousness comes with age. They have said that as adults we can “learn” to raise our consciousness, and have implied that children are not capable of “learning to raise their consciousness.” NSFM believes kids come into this world connected to their BEING, but most of us are not empowered with the knowledge or tools to maintain that connection.
Many of us were conditioned from a young age to disconnect from our BEING part. Instead of listening to our inner knowledge, to the wisdom, wonder, and compassion that exists within us at all times, we were taught to listen to others. We shut down and did as we were told, even when it didn’t feel right to us. No wonder that so many of us are now having to learn to reconnect with our BEING again, after all that practice of burying it, pushing it aside, and ignoring it! I certainly don’t want that for you!
Did you ever try to run a mile? ∞ The first time you try it seems hard, but as you practice, it gets easier and easier. That’s because your muscles get stronger. What muscles do you know of in your body? ∞ What do you think would happen if you stopped using those muscles? ∞
The same thing goes for your BEING Muscle. As you practice connecting to your BEING and focusing on the NOW moment instead of reacting to what’s going on around you, your BEING Muscle gets stronger and easier to use. Your BEING Muscle is there to support you throughout all your life experiences. What do you like to do to strengthen those HUMAN muscles? ∞ What do you like to do to strengthen your BEING Muscle? ∞ What you are passionate about and love to do often connects you to your BEING.
BEING exists in life, and life exists only in the NOW moments.
Take your first two fingers and place them on the side of your neck, underneath your chin, next to your throat. Move them around until you feel your heart beat. In that beat is where the NOW exists. And, that is the only place life exists. The past is the past but it is no longer life. Right NOW IS LIFE! Your BEING Muscle operates in the NOW.
When something happens in life, you need to bring your attention to it, just like we brought your attention to your heartbeat. Your heart is always beating but you seldom pay attention to it. Your power lies in bringing your attention to the NOW moment. As your BEING Muscle gets stronger, it becomes easier to recognize that in each NOW moment of life, you have a choice. You may not be able to change what someone else says or does, but you can change how you respond. You are a powerful BEING.
Do you believe you are a powerful BEING? ∞ What things happen that make you think that you aren’t a powerful BEING? ∞ How do you think connecting with your BEING would help that situation? ∞
Take off your shoes and socks. Now, wiggle your big toe. You decided you wanted to wiggle your big toe and when you brought your awareness to it, the HUMAN part of you made it happen. The same holds true for your BEING part. When you bring your awareness of the BEING part of you into and the NOW moment, you guide your HUMAN part toward making decisions that bring you health and happiness.
Sometimes, you are using your BEING Muscle and living in the NOW without even noticing it. Do you remember a time when you were so involved in doing something you loved like drawing, playing, or fishing, that time flew by? ∞ You felt connected to everything and everyone around. You were focused on the NOW and what you were doing had all your awareness. When you are so engaged in what you are doing that you are not worrying about the past or the future, and you are enjoying the NOW moment, your BEING Muscle is getting some exercise.
You are born a HUMAN connected to your BEING, but as you grow up, you may get distracted by what goes on around you. It’s easy to forget your BEING part, especially when you feel upset, angry, sad, or worried. That means the HUMAN part has taken over and you are disconnected from your BEING. If someone acts mean or angry, then there is a reason beneath their reactions, but the reason is never you. That includes when I get upset, frustrated, or angry. My reactions are my responsibility even though sometimes I act as if someone else is to blame. The truth is that I have forgotten to use my BEING Muscle and have disconnected from my BEING. Remember that how someone else acts is never about you. It is always about them.
Remember that how someone else acts is never about you. It is always about them.
Your BEING is a great and reliable guide for creating your life and it helps you make good decisions. Close your eyes, take a breath, and reach for that BEING Muscle. Connect to the NOW moment with all your attention, and trust that your BEING knows the best answer for you. That answer will always be in the best interest of everyone as well, because when you connect to your BEING, your choices come from a place of kindness, love, consideration, and respect for yourself and others.
Do you remember a time someone (maybe it was me) said or did something to you out of anger or pain? ∞ Did you feel responsible for their anger or pain? ∞ No matter how you felt, are you really responsible for their anger or pain? ∞
Remember that your HUMAN part might believe you are the cause, but your BEING part knows that the other person is in pain, and their pain has nothing to do with you. When you use your BEING Muscle, you can respond from your BEING, with love, understanding, and compassion instead of anger, hurt, or fear.
In a family we may all want different things so we communicate and work together to find a solution that works for everyone. Sometimes I place my own limitations upon you and I have to remember that you are a different person. I might take too much responsibility for the decisions about your life, but I am going to try to give you more choices, so you can exercise your BEING Muscle. You are creating the reality of your life and it looks different than mine. You are full of wonder and possibilities and no one else is quite like you! And, you are here to express life in your unique and wonderful way.
As you go through your life, I want you to be the one who determines the right choices for you whether you’re at home, at school, or out with your friends. I want to give you the space to have opinions, make choices, and be responsible for yourself. Your BEING is just as powerful as mine. I am not here to protect you from life, I am here to give you the tools, practice, and support to create a life that reflects the power and passion within you. If I give you the opportunity to make more choices about your life and about our life as a family, you will become an expert on making decisions and you won’t have to rebel against anyone. And when those decisions come from your BEING, I trust they will guide you well through life. Whatever you chose I trust you will live your NOW moments with joy and passion for who you are and all you have to contribute to this world.
If you got a bad test score at school, would you believe that you weren’t smart? ∞ A test score might represent how much you learned or remembered, but it never reflects who you are. Your brilliance lies in your BEING and is always there.
I want to give you choices that are acceptable to me, but there might be times as you get older that my choices may not be enough for you. Then I will have an opportunity to strengthen my BEING Muscle! I am growing right along with you. We are teachers for each other, and life is our school.
Conscious parenting and empowering kids begins with the belief that every child is complete, important, and full of wonder—just as you are! You already have a BEING Muscle, all you need to do is remember to use it--and, you can remind me to use mine too! Every NOW moment of each day, we have a choice to live connected or disconnected from our BEING. The goal is to keep that connection to our BEING as we go about our HUMAN life.
September 2008